Many of us lack the ability to say ‘No’. Actually I wonder why…since, as children, we are quite proficient in the use of that word :) Apparently we lose that skill as we grow up to be adults.
It is only recently, that is, a couple of years ago, that I have become comfortable with saying ‘No’.
Earlier I used to feel much pressurised if somebody asked something of me. The more politely they asked, the more difficult it would be for me. I would usually end up saying ‘Yes’. There would be a lot of stress accumulation due to this.
I used to worry that saying ‘No’ would offend that person so much that it would definitely put a crack in the relationship, if not end it altogether. Also, I was confident that I would never be able to say it in a way that the other person wouldn’t be offended. I also used to feel that they wouldn’t believe me even if there was a genuine reason to say ‘No’.
Gradually I have come to a point where I can politely but firmly say ‘No’, but many times, in fact most times, I catch myself giving detailed explanations and apologies when I say ‘No’ to somebody.
Nevertheless, here is what I have discovered…
I can say ‘No’ in a manner that will not offend the other person. In fact, many times they agree with my decision too !
Saying ‘No’ doesn’t put a crack in the relationship, forget ending it altogether :) At best, there is a temporary friction, which later, is easily forgiven and forgotten.
The most important thing is that when I don’t bite off more than I can chew, I feel much less stressed. I am happier, calmer and more at peace. This reflects in all my interactions and rubs off on people with whom I come into contact.
It took me years to bring about this change in myself but I’m happier for it :)
Comments