Skip to main content

How NOT to compère a function


Recently I attended an awards ceremony. It was a grand function with a huge audience in attendance. Many awards were given and some speeches too. The compère was, unintentionally, terribly funny !


In this function, when the compère announced the first award winner, he announced, “Please welcome on stage Mr. X (pause) married to (pause) wife Mrs. X (pause) from 1977 and successfully (pause) completed 32 years of (pause) married life…” I had tears in my eyes from laughing too hard :D


Later, the same compère, while telling the audiences about a certain award winner, said, “…he is married (pause) to wife Mrs. Z (pause) and enjoys playing with his (pause) children K and M. His favourite (pause) holiday destination is (pause) the beaches (pronounced as ‘bitches’) of (pause) Goa” I nearly died choking with laughter for this one !


In the 45 minutes that he was on stage he was responsible for much hilarity due to his totally inappropriate commentary. I, of course, laughed my guts out and what could have been a boring awards ceremony unexpectedly turned out to be quite enjoyable for me :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Belgaum Snapshots

On popular demand (= request from (possibly) the only reader of this blog), we interrupt the broadcast of the UK diaries to post about the short work-vacation trip to Belgaum. For those interested and waiting with bated breath (!) for the last instalment of the UK diaries, it shall be broadcast after this post…I promise !

I am currently on a short trip to Belgaum to conduct a theatre workshop for kids aged 8 to 15 years. I had never been to Belgaum before. So this has been a very interesting experience.
Here are some (word, not photograph) snapshots from the trip.
*******
The first thing that struck me as I reached here was the very different way in which everybody spoke Marathi. The accent is distinctly Kannada and the words and sounds are very well rounded. In Pune-Mumbai we speak in quite a sharp manner…crisply cut sounds et al. Also, there is a fun way of combining the last two words (usually the verbs, in Marathi) of a sentence.
I learnt that almost 80% of the population of Belgaum i…

The pastry

"Didi, woh cake dena..." "Usey pastry kehte hain" "Kya ?" "Pastry !" "Achha...wohi...dena...woh chocolate wala" "Mehenga hai. Paise hain kya ?"
Suddenly Chhotu felt completely out of place in the pastry shop. He, with his old, oversized, dirty clothes, face streaked with soot and rough dirty hands, didn't belong here. The lady at the counter was so clean. She was wearing new clothes and she smelled so nice. The whole shop smelled so nice in fact, that Chhotu felt that a balloon seller like him who lived on the footpath was somehow polluting the air of that shop.
Suddenly his confident tone vanished. He put his grubby hands in his pocket, removed the crimpled notes and counted them under his breath "10...20...30...40...50"
Then in a shaky voice, he told the pretty lady, "Pachaas hain"
The lady paused, looked at him from head to toe, breathed in audibly and said, "Yeh pastry pachpan ki hai"
Ch…